stayed up all last night and now here I am doing it again but hey atleast I got 90min of sleep today. I was going to fast but fuck me almost passing out at work so I have had 4 energy drinks today and some rice and chicken, but overall not that bad. Plus I am sick. I really want to be a virologist but I don't know if all of this hardwork is really going to be worth it in the end.

I wish fasting came as naturally to me as getting no sleep, I get so much more hungry when I don't sleep :( Fast tomorrow tho!!

kinda hopefull and nervous about all of my tests and quizes tomorrow. I have one in every class :(

ok sooo... April Goals:

-lose 15lbs.. idk if this is reasonable.\
-no binging
-500 cals max a day unless I do 2468
- go to class
-study 4 days in advanced
- visit dads gave once a week.
- no cheating
- only smoke pot 4 times a month

one word about my weekend, birthdays. But on a good note a person offered me a cake and i couldn't say no so I took it and then when I got back to school, I left it in the parking lot!!! yay but other then that major fail. time to start fasting again tomorrow and tuesday. I may force myself to have an apple bc i have tests all day :(.

I am procrastinating by watching blood diamond instead of studying! 

FAIL

fucking fire drill right fucking now

ok so no i didn't stop. I told my friends, who are also one here, that I would g and sit with them for dinner. Wow they were not help when it came to resisting the food that was surrounding me in my college eating hall. I had a wrap, which wasn't too bad, an a piece of cake. That is all I wanna say ex. fasting since 5:45 today till at least 5:45 tomorrow, then if needed my salad, so I am really excited, which is needless to say.

O and instead of going to the gym since I felt like shit, I ended up doing Zumba with my friend. We did about 30 minutes of the advanced level. Then we stretched before and after and did random fun active things.

sleepy...

class 8 am tomorrow...
out at 10:45...not bad
then nap 11am-2pm
work 4:30-9:30
Duke Game 9:49(?) random time

no time to really eat in my schedule. ex. if I want my salad.

so today I was going to eat 400 cals. yea. and my friend amos asked me to go eat with him so I said yes since I haven't seen him in a while. Well when we got there I made my low cal salad and half a grapefruit. He asked me why I wasn't eating and I said because I a trying to watch what I eat. I told him I have already lost 5 lbs. He then heard my fucking stomach rumble and said if your hungry you better eat because not eating isn;t healthy and i know you better then you think. so he asked me if I wanted any ice cream and I said no. He know that i love love love jjunk food and there is no way to resist. He brought me vanilla anyway. I ate it. so I am done for the day and probably went over...

it is only 2pm. but at least I have a TON of homework to get done! I am going to be reading all day. If my computer class teacher gets back to me I am going to the math building to do some of my lab work! But she probably won;t because she is a dee dee dee, which means stupid not retarded incase I offended anyone.

tomorrow is a 600 day but I may fast, I will decide before work.

and my room mate just went to a food store on campus, and wow they have some good healthy food. I am making a trip there tomorrow!

tt&ss.

Yesterday I fasted and work definitely helped! and I was successful.

Today I started 2468

and so far I have had only 127 and I plan on having an apple for dinner!!!

on a bad note I feel like I am so obsessed with food and everything to do with it that I am not even going to class or really doing any homework. I did good on my first exams but i mean i study a lot and pulled 3 all nighters. idk what to do.

2468 who do we appreciate?

ok well i was going to not eat for 24 hours and I have already started at 6 pm today, so it has been 5 hours, but I think now I am just going to start the 2468 plan diet thing. I may still fast for the first day and then start the diet the following day. They say you can lose muscle but i have weights in my room so if I lift them like I usually do I think I will be ok and not lose muscle. idk though.

but tomorrow i will write if I made the fast or not. The worst part may be work but idk. I have an 8 am class and then I work 11:30 am till 6pm so by the time I get off work the fast will be over. Now that I think about it I think I will be ok. I usually feel like I am going to puke though when I fast... : \ my stomach is already growling haha o well!

wow it has been a really really long time since I have been on here. Its so nice to be back. I hate starting something and not finishing it. But now I am happy because I am back. and no need to go over my stats this time i will just log on here what I eat, how many calories my body burns naturally without any help in a single day, and how many I ate (or not ate!), and how many i physically burned off. this is a way to keep my mind off of the fact I am hungry and keep my mind on the fact that I am fat! lol but i have recently become a vegetarian so, i will not have a problem with not eating meaty stuff, the only meat I eat is chicken and turkey!

today i ate :
-apple (small): 50
-ice cream: 140

and my down fall is Panera....
-Sierra Turkey Sandwich: 970

yea the nutritionist said to only eat 1500 calories s day since my body burns 1700 a day naturally.

and i am done for the rest of the day!

how dare you show up to Emily Burke's funeral you sick pieces of shit. How dare you... your lucky the family asked for us to not do anything because I would pay to inflict pain on you guys..Don't show up at liberty high school...people know you are going to be there and you are messing with some really red neck people so...actually go to liberty high and maybe if you are lucky...you may get whats coming to you.